


It Was Always You

by aruelia



Series: The Tertiary Timeline [2]
Category: Persona 3, Persona Series
Genre: Amnesia, F/M, First Dates, First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Back Together, Getting Together, Moving In Together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:48:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23384032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aruelia/pseuds/aruelia
Summary: Now that the world has been saved from The Fall, Chidori and Junpei have time to rekindle their relationship. However, no one is guaranteed a happily-ever-after, and relationships take lots of work from both parties. Both Junpei and Chidori make mistakes along the way, but they always find their way back to each other.
Relationships: Iori Junpei/Yoshino Chidori
Series: The Tertiary Timeline [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1612738
Comments: 37
Kudos: 42





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! This is the second part of The Tertiary Timeline. It's set over the course of a year and will include all of the major events in Junpei and Chidori's budding relationship that occur during this time. If you haven't read the previous work in the series, I would recommend reading at least the last two chapters so that you have context for this first chapter :))
> 
> (Title from It Was Always You by Panic! at the Disco)

**03.06.10**

Seeing Junpei again for the first time in months made Chidori feel relief like she had never before. Being pressed up against him, hearing his heartbeat in her ears, was a literal dream come true. She wanted to hold him tight forever and never let him go, and while she planned on doing that eventually, they needed to talk.

Chidori gently pulled away from him and looked up into his warm grey eyes. “So,” she began, “I read your letter.”

Junpei tensed. “Uh... I see.” 

“Is everything... resolved? Is your ordeal over?”

“Oh, that’s what you wanted to talk about.” Junpei laughed, but his heart clearly wasn’t it in. “Yeah, it is. For better or for worse, our battle is over.”

He glanced away and Chidori lightly grabbed his hand, maneuvering them so that they were sitting next to each other on her hospital bed. She slowly began rubbing his back, wanting more than anything to reassure the young man that she was here for him.

Junpei looked at her, eyebrows raised. “You really want to hear what happened? I figured that after reading my letter you’d think I was crazy... Well, if you’re sure.”

Whatever Chidori was expecting, it came nowhere close to the absolute insanity that Junpei began to tell her. He and his friends apparently summoned these powerful entities called Personas and they had spent the past year fighting these monsters, called Shadows, to protect humanity. Their biggest battle had occurred at the end of January; they had to defeat Nyx, an actual _goddess,_ in order to prevent the end of the world. It sounded crazy, but the emotion in Junpei’s voice and the tears in his eyes, especially when he talked about the death of his leader Minato, made it obvious to Chidori that he was telling the truth.

After Junpei was done telling his story, neither one of them spoke for a long while, but Chidori’s thoughts were spiraling. Though Junpei’s story was outlandish, it wasn’t just his obvious sadness that convinced her that all of that nonsense about Personas and Shadows was real. It was something deeper than that, something that she couldn’t quite put her finger on, something just out of her reach.

But then, it hit her. She sat up frantically and looked Junpei dead in the eyes, “I had a Persona, didn’t I?”

Junpei’s eyes widened and he started stammering, trying to figure out what to say to her, before finally just sighing. “Yeah, you did.”

She nodded, “I thought so... So, what happened?”

“What?”

“What do you mean ‘what’? I had a Persona, but I don’t anymore, right? I heard the doctor say that. Is that why I’m here and can’t remember anything?”

Junpei gently reached out and grabbed her hand to steady it, which made her realize that she was violently shaking. She started to apologize but Junpei gave her a small smile with a clear meaning:  _ it's okay. _

“The reason you’re here, like I said in my letter, is because you saved my life. In doing so, you sacrificed your Persona.” Junpei smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck, “Actually, your Persona and mine kinda fused together into an even more powerful Persona. The healing abilities I got from you saved my ass, like, a million times.”

Chidori grinned, “Happy I could help!” But her smile quickly faded, “But wait, if I was a member of your team, why are you the only one who has been visiting me? I mean, Akihiko and Mitsuru came by a few times, but they weren’t exactly... friendly.”

Junpei’s expression was unreadable, and he didn’t respond for several, long moments. “It’s a long story. All that matters is that you did the right thing in the end.”

“What does that mean?!”

Junpei looked away and it was clear that she wasn’t going to get anymore answers out of him about her past role, at least not today. She sighed and squeezed his hand, “Fine, I’ll drop it. For now. You’ll have to tell me eventually, though.”

“I will, I promise.” Junpei looked at her earnestly, before a cheeky grin spread across his face. “So, you read my letter, right?”

“Uh, yes?”

“The  _ whole _ letter?”

“Yes, the whole letter. What are you-” Chidori stopped abruptly.  _ Right, his confession! _

His expression turned panicked when he saw her expression. “Obviously, you don’t have to say anything and it's totally fine if you don’t feel the same! It’s just I felt like such a coward not telling you in person, so I wanted to tell you in person because I need you to know how much I lo-”

“Stop, Junpei!” Chidori cut him off and childishly covered her ears.

Junpei’s face fell, “You don’t feel the same. I’m so sorry and I hope that I didn’t make things too weird between us and-”

“Shut up!” Chidori stood up abruptly, completely silencing the young man, who was staring up at her like a deer in headlines, as a bright red blush bloomed on his cheeks. Chidori huffed before sitting back down next to him and putting her hands on his shoulders so that he was forced to look her in the eyes.

“Just listen to me, okay?” Junpei nodded, mesmerized, and she continued. “I really care about you, Junpei. I definitely feel the connection between us and believe that I loved you before... my accident. But right now, I don’t really know you. And,” she gave him a small smile, “you don’t know me.”

He started to protest, but Chidori sadly shook her head. “You knew the old me. A version of myself that I hardly know anything about. That’s not who I am, at least not right now, and if I don’t get my memories back, it's someone I’ll likely never be again. I’m not the girl you fell in love with, so I don’t want you to think that’s who I’m going to be if we start dating. I don’t want you to tell me that you love me until you actually love who I am now, not who I used to be.”

There was a long moment of silence until, “Wait, dating?! You want to date me?” Junpei asked with a bright smile on his face.

Chidori just rolled her eyes. “I hope that’s not all you got out of that.”

“No! I heard you, loud and clear!” Junpei mock saluted and she couldn’t help but giggle at the goofy expression on his face. They soon sobered up and Junpei looked at her seriously before saying, “I want to get to know you, Chidori. I want to take you out on dates, make you laugh, cook you dinner, shower you in complements, hold you when you cry,  _ everything _ . I know you’re not the person you were, and that’s okay. I’m excited to get to know you either way.”

Chidori stared at him, stone faced, before gently flicking him on the nose.

“Ow! What was that for?!”

“That was a very cute speech you just gave, but you forgot the most important part.”

“What?”

“Uh, actually asking me out?” She smirked as his face fell, “So far, all of this dating stuff is just theoretical.”

Junpei groaned. “You’re the worst. I hate you.”

“Is that anyway to speak to your almost girlfriend?”

“Fine,” Junpei hopped off the edge of the bed and got down on one knee, causing Chidori to go bright red. “Chidori, will you... be my girlfriend?”

She sat there stunned for a few moments, before shaking her head. Her face was full of exasperation, but her eyes held nothing by adoration. “I can’t believe my boyfriend is such an idiot.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chidori moves into her new home and she and Mitsuru begin to bond.

**04.04.10**

“Shit! Chidori, why is this box so heavy?”

Chidori turned and tried not to giggle at the sight of her boyfriend struggling to carry a rather small box. She figured that he had grabbed it because it looked the lightest, compared to the larger box she was carrying, but his was filled with her art supplies and manga collection, while hers merely contained the few clothes she owned.

“It’s where I keep my pet rock collection,” Chidori stated, perfectly serious. Before Junpei could respond, she took off running and yelled, “Race you to the door!”

She could hear her boyfriend calling her name and shouting that the doctors told her not to run. She simply rolled her eyes and sprinted faster. 

_ The doctors told me to take it easy, not that I couldn't run. Plus, even though Mitsuru’s apartment is on the top floor, this building is only three stories! I’ll be fine. _

This was her first real day of being released from the hospital. Sure, the doctors had let her go shopping with Yukari and Mitsuru one day, but that was only for a few hours and just to get basic necessities, like clothes and toiletries. Chidori had been beginning to fear that she’d never get to leave her hospital room, as the doctors kept pushing her release date farther and farther back, claiming that she still wasn’t “fully healthy.” However, after talking it over with Mitsuru, the doctors agreed that Chidori could be released as long as she lived with the heiress so she could keep an eye on her.

No one was really happy with that decision at first, but everyone soon realized that it was probably the best option for Chidori. The doctors felt that Chidori needed more care, so she couldn’t live alone. Junpei and Chidori were hoping to live in the dorms together, but it would be hard to explain why the school was allowing a non-student to live in a dorm. Even though Mitsuru didn’t really know or trust Chidori, she knew that Chidori was desperate to leave the hospital, so she eventually offered Chidori the spare room in her new apartment, which Chidori gratefully accepted.

Chidori quickly ran up the remaining steps and made it to Mitsuru’s door far ahead of Junpei. Chidori gently put her box down and started knocking on the door to what would hopefully become her new home.

Mitsuru opened the door, looking like she was on her way to an important business meeting. Her hair was perfectly curled and she was wearing a nice shirt and dress pants. She had told Chidori that she wasn’t doing anything important that day, but the only thing that seemed to support that was the fact that she was barefoot. Everything else screamed  _ busy heiress: don’t bother me. _

Chidori swallowed her nerves and bowed, “Thank you so much for allowing me to live in your apartment.”

Mitsuru smiled, but there was clear discomfort in her eyes. “You’re welcome,” she said before looking around the empty hallway, “Where’s Iori?”

“Right, hah, here,” Junpei panted as he finally made it up the stairs.

Mitsuru raised an eyebrow before calmly stating, “This apartment building has an elevator.”

“Are you serious?!”

Chidori laughed at his comically upset expression and moved to grab the box from him, but he quickly pulled it away from her.

“I’m sooooo tired from carrying that big, heavy box up all of those stairs. Can you kiss me better, Chidorita?” Junpei playfully wiggled his eyebrows and exaggeratedly puckered up his lips.

Chidori pretended to think about it, before leaning in really close to him, causing him to freeze. While he was distracted, she quickly grabbed the box out of his hands.

“Hey! That’s not what-” Chidori cut him off with a peck on his cheek. He instantly stopped talking and turned beet red. Though Junpei talked big, he was really easy to fluster, something that Chidori often used to her advantage. 

“Uh,  _ ahem, _ ” Mitsuru awkwardly cleared her throat, reminding the couple that they were not alone.

“Sorry, senpai!” Junpei bowed frantically and hurried to pick up the large box that Chidori had been carrying, before running inside the apartment.

Chidori started to say something as well, but Mitsuru just turned around and headed inside her apartment without another word. Chidori sighed and prayed that their future encounters weren’t this tense. She took a deep breath, then took her first step into her new life.

* * *

**04.17.10**

Chidori yawned and got up to make herself another cup of coffee. It was early Saturday morning, Junpei was at school, and Chidori, bored out of her mind, was looking at Mitsuru’s old math notebook. She had been complaining about her lack of basic education, and Mitsuru, whether out of kindness or just to get Chidori to stop talking, offered to lend her her notebook that contained all of her notes that she took throughout her early education. The notes, even the ones from elementary school, were extremely neat, with many explanations and examples for every topic. Though Chidori felt a little stupid having to learn from a child’s notes, she was extremely grateful that Mitsuru had lent them to her.

Chidori had actually wanted to start attending school when she had first woken up, but she and the doctors had realized that that would pretty much be impossible. She was nineteen, but had the education level of a six or seven year old. There was no way that she could keep up with a normal high school curriculum.

Though that had saddened her, it didn’t make her want to stop learning. She wanted to make up for all the time she had lost, both to her amnesia as well as to the Strega Project. She wanted more than anything to be normal, and sitting at the dining table and working on math problems, even if they were meant for children, made her feel like she was achieving her goal.

She had been trying (and failing) to do some multiplication problems when she heard a frustrated groan coming from Mitsuru’s room. Chidori instantly jumped up to go check on her roommate, but stopped right before knocking on her door. She knew that Mitsuru hated being disturbed and Chidori didn’t want to bother her, especially if she was doing homework or important Kirijo business. She started to turn around and get back to work, when she heard Mitsuru yelp in pain.

Without thinking, Chidori barged into Mitsuru’s room, “Mitsuru, are you- what happened to your hair?”

Mitsuru stared daggers at her, which normally terrified Chidori, but amusement overpowered any fear she may have felt when she saw the state Mitsuru was in. The heiress was wearing her pajamas, sitting cross legged on her bed, with a brush stuck in the unruly tangles of her hair. “I’m fine,” she gritted out.

Normally, Chidori would have apologized for barging into her room and avoided talking to Mitsuru for the rest of the day out of fear, but she had become a bit of a tangle-remover master back before she cut her hair and knew she could help Mitsuru. However, Chidori knew that if she offered, Mitsuru would brush her off. Still, Mitsuru’s hair was a mess and it would take her all day to fix it on her own. Chidori knew that she had to help the heiress, even if Mitsuru didn’t want her to, so she quickly came up with a plan.

Chidori cautiously put up her hands and began to walk closer to Mitsuru as if she was a frightened cat, which she basically was in this situation. One wrong move, and she’d run. Mitsuru remained still, clearly worried about what Chidori was planning to do, but not afraid enough to move away.

Chidori was a few inches away from Mitsuru when she quietly asked, “Can you turn around?” Mitsuru gave her a look, but begrudgingly did what Chidori asked.

Now that Chidori had a better view of Mitsuru’s hair, she realized it was not as bad as she had originally thought. Chidori gently pried the brush from Mitsuru’s hair and got to work detangling it.

She worked in silence for about twenty minutes, deeply focused on the task at hand. Mitsuru had been tense at first, but over time she slowly loosened up, finding the light brush strokes relaxing. Mitsuru had just started to drift off when Chidori tapped her shoulder, “All done!”

Mitsuru reached to feel her hair and was shocked to find that it was silky and smooth, no tangles to be found. She turned around to face Chidori, who was standing there a bit awkwardly. Chidori handed Mitsuru back her brush and started to leave before Mitsuru stopped her, “Thank you, Chidori.”

Chidori looked stunned for a second, but her blank expression was quickly replaced by a blinding smile, “You’re welcome!”

Mitsuru couldn’t help but smile back, and before she could think about it, she found herself asking, “Would you like to get lunch with me later today?”

“I’d love to!” Chidori’s smile widened. They talked for a few more minutes before Chidori excused herself to go finish her problem set. Mitsuru still didn’t trust Chidori, and they certainly were not going to become friends in a day, but she found that she didn’t hate the idea of getting to know her roommate better. Mitsuru sighed, but soon found herself smiling, ready for her long, but now much more exciting day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed! Feedback is greatly appreciated!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chidori is frustrated. Junpei is anxious. AKA: The story of Jundori's first date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, thank you guys so much for all of the kudos and nice comments! They really make my day :))
> 
> Second, I hope that you guys enjoy this chapter! It's a bit longer than the other chapters, but its not too bad. I tried to write in a bit of texting for the first time and there are a few POV switches, so let me know if anything is confusing.
> 
> Third, I know the world is crazy right now, but I hope everyone reading this is doing okay despite the circumstances. Feel free to reach out if you want to talk about anything :))

**05.09.10**

Chidori was getting to the point where she was convinced that her boyfriend, though incredibly sweet and understanding, was the dumbest man alive. She had been trying for weeks to go on a date with Junpei, but they hadn’t even been alone together since she had been released from the hospital. During the week it was pretty hard to try to get together since Junpei had school, and Chidori had recently started to work part time in a local flower shop, so their schedules rarely lined up. Sundays were another story.

It’s not like Junpei never asked her to hang out on Sundays, as that's not true at all. In fact, they had spent almost every Sunday together since her release. The problem was that Junpei never asked her to hang  _ alone _ on Sundays.

The first Sunday after she had moved in with Mitsuru, Chidori had made the three of them dinner to express her gratitude to both of them. Having Junpei there made it way easier to talk to Mitsuru, since it was still pretty tense between them at the time. Chidori was glad that she had invited Junpei at the time, but wondered if that invitation had started this frustrating pattern.

Every Sunday, like clockwork, Junpei would text her asking to hang out, and she’d get excited, thinking they were finally going on a date. Then, only once she agreed, he’d mention that someone else, usually Kenji, would be joining them. It’s not like she didn’t like Kenji, in fact she rather enjoyed his infectiously energetic nature, but she was getting a bit tired of this stale routine.

All of this led Chidori to her current dilemma. She stared down at her phone, looking at her most recent messages from Junpei.

_ > heyyy Chidorita <3  _

_ > i hope you slept well last night _

_ > wanna go to the mall with me today?  _

Of course, the answer was yes, but she really hoped that it would just be the two of them. But, Junpei most likely had already invited Kenji, so that was highly unlikely.

A sharp knock on her door shook Chidori from her thoughts. “Are you awake, Chidori?” Mitsuru questioned.

“Yes! One second!” Chidori rushed to open the door to let her roommate in. Mitsuru typically had business meetings on Sundays, so it was unusual that she was still at their apartment, and her suspicions were confirmed when she saw that Mitsuru was still in her pajamas. “Did your meeting get cancelled?”

Mitsuru sighed, “Yes. The board member I was meeting with is out of the country on vacation. Apparently, he didn’t think to notify me of this until an hour before the meeting was supposed to start.”

“I’m sorry, Mitsuru...” Chidori didn’t know what else to say. She didn’t know a lot about the Kirijo Group, but she did know that many of the board members resented Mitsuru taking over the company. 

“It’s fine,” Mitsuru waved her hand, as if brushing her frustration away. “I think I’m going to spend some time with Yukari today. Would you like to join us?”

“Thanks, but I already have plans today. I’m going to the mall with Junpei and Kenji.”

“Tomochika?” Mitsuru raised an eyebrow. “Didn’t he accompany you last week as well?” 

Chidori groaned, “Yeah, and the week before that.”

“Why? I’m surprised Junpei hasn’t wanted to meet with you alone.”

“Right?!” Chidori exclaimed, happy that Mitsuru agreed with her. Suddenly, a realization hit her. “Wait... I didn’t do anything wrong, did I?”

“Not that I know of. Why don’t you just ask Junpei if you can go to the mall alone? Did he already invite Tomochika-san?”

Chidori read the text messages again. “I’m not sure.”

“Well, if you want to be alone with him, I think you should just tell him. Iori- Uh, I mean, Junpei- can sometimes be oblivious to things like that.”

“That’s true... Okay, thanks Mitsuru!”

“You’re welcome. Let me know if you need anything,” Mitsuru blushed a bit, clearly unused to giving relationship advice, before quickly walking back to her room.

Chidori looked back down at her phone and was surprised to see some new messages from Junpei.

_ > you still asleep? _

_ > ...Chidori? _

She felt a bit guilty for leaving him without a response for so long. Chidori sighed and quickly typed up her response.

> I’m awake

> Sorry for the late response

> ...Will Kenji be joining us?

Chidori hoped that the ellipsis would signal to Junpei that she would rather he not come, but as she read his next text, she realized that her plan had backfired.

_ > yeah sure! _

_ > i haven’t invited him yet but he’s prob free _

_ > i’ll text him right now _

Chidori groaned. The one time Junpei had asked her out alone, she accidentally invited Kenji.

_ Oh well. It could be worse. I’m still getting to spend time with Junpei and I do genuinely like Kenji. _

She had resigned herself to another hangout instead of a date when another text from Junpei arrived.

_ > apparently he has family visiting so he can’t come _

_ > do you want me to invite someone else? _

> NO

> Uh, I mean

> Just us would be nice

_ > really?! _

_ > i’ll see you soon Chidorita <3 _

Chidori sighed. She didn’t mean to be so blunt but at least she finally seemed to get her point across. Now, all she had to do was find the perfect outfit for her first date.

* * *

Junpei was standing outside Paulownia Mall, half looking for Chidori, half trying not to die of nervousness. 

_ There’s no way this is a date, right? She’s never seemed to want to go on one before. She probably just asked you here as friends... But wait! We are already dating. So  _ could  _ this be a date? ...Oh, no. What if she’s coming just to break up with you? That’s the only logical explanation. She’s finally realized that she can do better than- _

Junpei’s rapidly spiraling thoughts were cut off by a light tap on his shoulder. He turned around to see Chidori. But not just Chidori: it was Chidori wearing a light yellow sundress that perfectly matched the flower in her hair and the bright smile on her face, looking even more beautiful than normal, which Junpei hadn’t even though was possible.

“W-wow... Chidori, you look amazing.”

Chidori giggled, “Thanks!” She looped her arm through his. “So, what’s the plan for our date?”

Junpei let out a sigh of relief, “Oh, good, this is a date.”

“What else would it be?” Chidori tilted her head.

“N-nothing! I was... Uh, never mind. Wanna go to the arcade?”

Chidori was obviously confused by Junpei’s odd reaction, but she still smiled and nodded. They had been to the arcade several times and they both loved it. Junpei loved the competitive glint Chidori would get in her eyes whenever they played against each other. Even though they had never gone to the arcade just the two of them, Junpei hoped that the familiar setting would help calm his nerves.

His wish was granted, as the somewhat awkward atmosphere that had formed around them completely dissipated the second they stepped into the arcade. “Ooooh! No one’s playing that shooter game! Come on, I’m gonna kick your ass!” Chidori laughed and dragged him over to a gaudy, neon colored machine. 

“Oh, yeah? Bring it, Chidorita!” Junpei teased, relieved that they had fallen back into their normal banter. 

They played for hours, laughing and taunting each other as they tried to shoot as many enemies as they could in the hopes of outdoing each other. Though Chidori won most of the time, Junpei always gave her a run for her money, though she’d vehemently deny that. Junpei used to think that when he got a girlfriend, he’d have to purposely lose to avoid upsetting her. Now, he knows better; Chidori would kill him if he ever went easy on her.

Eventually, after their closest round yet, Junpei put down the plastic gun and threw both of his hands into the air. “I surrender! You win. I can’t defeat the mighty Chidorita~!”

“I’m glad you’ve finally figured that out,” Chidori giggled. “Wanna go get some coffee?”

Junpei agreed and the couple started to walk over to Chagall Cafe. Junpei wasn’t a huge fan of coffee, but Chidori couldn’t get enough of the stuff. He’d happily drink the bitter liquid if it meant he could see her smile. 

They spent a long while in a cozy booth, simply talking about their lives. Talking to Chidori was as easy as breathing to Junpei, and their conversation was lively and enjoyable, but Junpei could tell that Chidori had something on her mind. A few moments after they finished their drinks, Junpei could help himself and asked, “Is something bothering you?”   
  
Chidori’s eyes widened, “N-no! Why did you think that?”

“You just seemed like you were thinking really hard about something. I just wanted to make sure you were still having a good time.”

“I’m having an amazing time, Junpei! This is wonderful. I just...” she trailed off and looked away. Chidori sighed and looked back up at him, confusion and worry in her eyes, “Why didn’t you want to go on a date sooner?”

Junpei froze, then laughed sheepishly, “Honestly? I didn’t know how to ask you.”

“What?”

“I’ve... never been on a real date before. You’re my first girlfriend, and I lo- like you more than I’ve ever liked anyone. I didn’t want you to know how inexperienced I am and disappoint you,” he looked down. “It’s stupid, I know.”

Chidori leaned across the table and lifted his chin with her fingers so that they were making eye contact. “I don’t care that you’re inexperienced; I care about  _ you _ , Junpei. I’m sorry I made you so worried about that, but I promise you, I don’t mind at all,” she smiled gently before continuing. “Plus, if I have any dating experience, I can’t remember it anyway, so we’re in the same boat!”

Junpei rubbed the back of his neck, “Oh, right. Sorry about that.”

“Don’t apologize! I’m glad that you opened up to me. That’s what relationships are for, right? We can talk to each other about our insecurities and become stronger because of it. You can tell me anything and I’ll be there to support you, just like you’ve always supported me.”

Junpei stared at her blankly for a few seconds before he started to laugh, “Damn, what did I do to deserve you?”

* * *

They spent a few more hours walking around the mall before they had to leave. Junpei offered to walk her back to her apartment, and even though she protested since he’d have to ride an extra train, he wouldn’t take no for an answer. Chidori knew that when Junpei was determined to do something, he wouldn’t stop until he had accomplished his goal. Plus, that meant she got to spend more time with her boyfriend, so she wasn’t going to complain.

The couple soon arrived in front of Chidori’s apartment door, and an awkward silence enveloped the pair. Chidori was about to ask Junpei if he wanted to come inside, when he blurted out, “Can I kiss you?”

His cheeks were bright red and his grey eyes were shining. Junpei was such a genuine and earnest person. He was truly beautiful, inside and out.

_ What did I do to deserve you? _

She realized she hadn’t actually answered him when he started to backtrack, “Uh, we don’t have to! Never mind, it was a dumb idea and-”

“Please!” she knew she must be blushing furiously but she had to continue before she lost her composure. “Kiss me, Junpei.”

Chidori hadn’t thought it possible, but his cheeks got even redder. He nodded and closed his eyes. She followed suit. They both leaned in, inching closer and closer to each other, until-

“Ow!” they both yelped. They had accidentally smashed their noses together. The couple stared at each other for a few seconds before bursting into laughter. Once they had composed themselves, Junpei gently stroked her cheek and asked, “Wanna try again?”

She nodded, and leaned in again. This time they didn’t miss. Their lips collided in a sweet peck that very quickly turned more sensual. It was obvious that she had more experience than he did, but neither seemed to mind. She was a good teacher and he was happy to learn. 

Kissing Junpei set her entire body on fire. Every nerve in her body was alight and she was ready and willing to burn as long as he kept his mouth on hers. She could kiss him forever, and was quite ready to, until she heard someone clear their throat.

The couple immediately jumped apart at the sound of Mitsuru’s voice. Despite her blushing, her voice and face were stern, “Hello. It seems your date went well, to say the least.”

Junpei froze like he had been shocked, and a bead of sweat appeared on his forehead. “Uh, yup! It did! Good to see you, Mitsuru! I’ll talk to you later, Chidori!” he yelled as he ran down the stairs.

Chidori laughed as Mitsuru apologized for interrupting them. Chidori simply waved her off. Watching her boyfriend nearly fall down the stairs after being scared by her roommate was just the cherry on top of their perfect first date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Mitsuru referring to people as their first names is kinda weird, but I'd like to think that some of Chidori's habits are rubbing off on her. Chidori is really lax with names and she's trying to encourage Mitsuru to do the same. However, she's still pretty formal, so Mitsuru only calls her close friends (so basically just SEES) by their given names, which is why she still calls Kenji, Tomochika. Just a personal headcannon of mine :)) As always, feedback is encouraged and greatly appreciated!! See y'all on Wednesday!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An encounter with someone from Junpei's past leads to a bit of tension between the couple. Luckily, its nothing they can't resolve together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry that I didn't post on Wednesday. To be honest, I fell into a P5R rabbit hole and now have lots more ideas for this AU as a whole ;))
> 
> There is a very brief mention of implied future sexual content in this chapter. If that makes you uncomfortable, I would skip the first italicized section.
> 
> Anyways, please enjoy! I hope you guys are doing well :))

**06.19.10**

Chidori worriedly looked at the clock for the fifth time in ten minutes. Though Junpei wasn’t exactly known for being punctual, it was unusual for him to be nearly half an hour late when he was meeting up with her, especially for something they had both been looking forward to. Mitsuru had been out of town for the past few days and would be until Monday, giving them the perfect opportunity to hang out alone in Chidori’s apartment for an extended period of time. She blushed thinking of the implications of spending the night with her boyfriend.

_ It’s not like we are planning on doing anything like  _ that _! I don’t think either of us are ready to go that far. But, it certainly is exciting to think about... _

A knock startled her out of her increasingly inappropriate thoughts. She eagerly rushed to open the door, but Chidori quickly became concerned when she saw the look on Junpei’s face. He looked like he had been struck by lightning, body tense and eyes frightened. Before she could ask what was wrong, a large smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes consumed his face. “Hey, Chidorita! I brought the takeout.”

Chidori nodded, utterly confused why her boyfriend was acting so weird, but began to help him set the table. He chatted aimlessly about his day, complained about the recent rainy weather, and asked her many questions about how she had been doing lately. He still seemed a bit off, but Chidori eventually decided that she must be imagining things as he was acting like his normal, goofy self.

They finished eating, cleaned up, then settled down to watch some TV. She loved the feeling of sheer normalcy she got when they were together like this. They weren’t a recovering amnesiac and a boy who saved the world; they were teenagers cuddling on a couch watching a cheesy romcom. 

But of course, all good things must come to an end. As the credits began to roll, Junpei’s phone buzzed from the dining room table. They both groaned, neither of them wanting to move away from each other. Eventually Junpei sighed and slowly untangled himself from Chidori, promising to be back soon.

A few minutes later, Chidori found herself dozing off with Junpei still nowhere to be seen. She yawned, slowly sat up, and mumbled, “Junpei?”

She turned to see him sitting at the kitchen table, staring at his phone looking like he was trying to hold back tears. He seemed deep in thought, so consumed that he didn’t notice her say his name. It broke Chidori’s heart to see him like that, as he was normally so carefree. 

She quickly got up from the couch and began to walk towards him. Once Junpei noticed her, he immediately plastered a smile on his clearly pained face. “Haha, sorry about that Chidorita. I, uh, got... distracted. But, I’m fine now! Wanna watch another movie?”

Junpei had gotten up from the table and was making a beeline to the couch, as if he could make Chidori forget what she had seen if he just completely ignored it. But she wasn’t going to let him go that easily. She reached out and grabbed him by the shoulder, forcing him to look at her. “Junpei. What’s wrong?"

He laughed nervously, “Nothing! Nothing is wrong! I’m fine.”

“Junpei, you’re clearly upset. Talk to me. Please,” Chidori begged.

Junpei sighed and plopped back down on one of the table cushions, Chidori taking a seat on the cushion opposite of him. Junpei ran his fingers through his short hair and cursed under his breath. Chidori just sat and waited patiently for her boyfriend to open up.

A few minutes later, he finally spoke, simply saying, “I saw my dad for the first time in over a year today.”

“Oh... Is he unwell?”   
  
Junpei laughed humorlessly, “That’s one way to put it.” Junpei averted his gaze and whispered something so softly Chidori couldn’t hear.

“What did you say?”

“He was drunk!” Junpei yelled and hit the table, causing Chidori to flinch. Junpei hardly seemed to notice as he continued his ranting, “My dad was stumbling around the station, drunk off his ass, begging for money. He looked like shit and reeked of booze. The best part: he didn’t even recognize me! He walked right up to me, asked for money, then stormed off when I told him ‘no.’ I guess he finally sobered up enough to realize that it was me, because now he’s blowing up my damn phone, yelling at me for being such a shitty son. God... I fucking hate him!”

Junpei was fully crying now, the overly “manly” persona he typically displayed had fallen completely. He pulled his knees to his chest, as if he was shielding himself from her stare, and she wanted nothing more than to hold him. 

So, that’s exactly what she did. She crawled around to the other side of the table and wrapped her arms around the sobbing man, gently rubbing his back as he let his emotions out. Chidori hated to see him so upset, but was glad that he trusted her enough to open up.

When Junpei’s crying had stopped and his shaking had subsided, Chidori pulled away just enough to look him in the eyes. He still looked completely miserable, but Chidori knew that trauma like this wouldn’t go away with one outburst and some cuddles. She gently kissed him, and lightly murmured, “I’m always here for you,” on his lips.

They laid there on the floor for a long while, their heartbeats syncing up as they slowly drifted off to sleep.

* * *

**06.20.10**

Junpei woke up on a cold hardwood floor with an aching back and the love of his life in his arms. He groaned as memories from the night before flooded his mind.

_ I can’t believe I lost my cool like that. God, I probably sounded like such a douche complaining about my dad like that. He may be an ass, but at least he’s alive... _

Chidori made a noise in her sleep and curled him even closer to him. He smiled down at her, wondering how she could be so cute, before falling back asleep.

When Junpei woke up again, it was to the smell of eggs and bacon. He shot up, instantly awake and ready to eat. He stood up to see Chidori in the kitchen in a frilly apron, her short hair up in a messy ponytail, lightly humming a simple melody.

_ I'd love to wake up to this every day. Maybe, in the future, I can. _

He lightly cleared his throat, not wanting to scare her, before walking over to wrap his arms around her waist. He kissed the top of her head, enjoying the feeling of her pressing up against him. Junpei began to pepper her neck with little open mouth kisses that made her giggle, until she playfully pushed him off of her. She grinned at him and waived her spatula at him like it was a weapon, “Hey! Don’t distract the chef or you won’t get any food.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

The two of them continued their banter until Chidori had finished making breakfast. She had told him that she wasn’t a very good cook, but Junpei was inclined to believe that she was just being modest after seeing the expansive Western breakfast she had prepared. Or maybe he was too traumatized from Fuuka’s cooking to see average cooking as anything other than amazing.

Junpei thanked her for the food and instantly dug in. Chidori’s food tasted as good as it looked and smelled, and the smile on her face when he told her as much made him fall even harder for her.

Their conversation reached a natural pause and Junpei decided that now was a good time to address last night. “Hey, Chidori?” he began nervously, “I’m sorry about what happened last night.”

Chidori tilted her head, “What do you mean?”

“My outburst about my dad. It was pretty lame of me to complain considering...” he trailed off, unsure of how to continue.

“Considering the fact that my parents are dead?” Chidori raised an eyebrow. “Junpei, just because my father is dead doesn’t mean that you don’t have the right to complain about yours.”

“Yeah, I know. But, still. My dad being an alcoholic dick is nothing compared to what you’ve had to deal with. I’m sorry-”

“Don’t apologize!” Chidori snapped. She reached across to grab his hand, her face softening, “Your feelings matter to me. Just like you’ve helped me cope with my past, I’m here to help you too. Your problems are important even if you don’t think that they are as bad as what I’ve experienced. Please don’t ever think anything otherwise.”

Junpei was stunned. He had never had someone in his life willing to listen to him like Chidori was. She was too good for him, and Junpei was so grateful to have her in his life. He stared into her beautiful amber eyes, full of patience and affection, and couldn’t help blurting out, “I love you.”

Now it was Chidori’s turn to be surprised. She had always been the one to initiate the major steps in their relationship: their first kiss, their first date, hell, them getting together in the first place. She had told him to wait to say those words until he truly loved her, not the memory he had of her old self. She looked into his warm grey eyes and found no hint of dishonesty. He had truly fallen in love with her. The  _ real _ her.

And she of course, felt the same about him.

Tears filling her eyes, she squeezed his hand tighter, and quietly said, “I love you, too.”

They spent the rest of their day together in a daze, laughing and smiling within a hazy mist of love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! See you Wednesday (for real this time haha)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After being offered a reward from both Mitsuru and Chidori, Junpei becomes determined to do well on his exams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry this is going up so late, but its technically still Wednesday so I am still on schedule (kinda haha)
> 
> In this chapter, sexual content is more heavily implied than it has been in the past, and there is a bit of making out. It's kinda sprinkled throughout, so if you don't like that kind of stuff, you have been warned. It's nothing graphic, but I figured I should say something anyways.
> 
> Speaking of sex, how do you guys feel about future chapters containing smut? I would change the rating of this fic from T to M and there would be a few sex scenes, mostly about their first times and their emotional responses. It's not a sure thing, and I'm fine either way, just let me know what y'all think :))

**07.01.10**

Junpei was a lot of things, but an avid studier was not one of them. He never did very well in school, with exam scores usually ending up in the lower end of the average range. This never really bothered him, even when his teachers and senpai would scold him or question what he was going to do in the future. Hell, even  _ having _ a future was a foreign concept until recently. He had spent his second year of high school fighting Shadows and saving the world, so he was a bit too preoccupied trying not to die to hit the books, and every year before that trying to survive at home with his deadbeat, alcoholic father. But all of that changed now that Chidori was back in his life.

The future to Junpei was always blurry and out of reach. He didn’t really have any major life aspirations (well, ones that were actually attainable anyways), and he had never really taken the time to think about what he really wanted from his life until he met Chidori. 

Even before her “accident,” even when the doctors had told him that she didn’t have very long to live, Junpei’s outlook on life changed completely as he got to know her. He went from assuming he’d get married eventually, have a few kids, and work a boring office job his entire life, to daydreaming about doing all those things with Chidori by his side, which made them infinitely more appealing. When she vanished from his life, he was devastated, but still managed to have hope for his future, even if Chidori wouldn’t be able to be there. He wasn’t just living for himself anymore; he was living for Chidori, too.

When starting his final year of high school, Junpei realized that, for the first time in his life, he was motivated to try to do well in school. Since Chidori wasn’t able to graduate from high school, she wouldn’t be able to go to college, drastically decreasing the chances of getting a well paying job. For Junpei to support them, he needed to go to college, which meant that he had to get good grades this year to make up for his... less than stellar record.

However, that was easier said than done. Junpei  _ actually studied _ for his May exams, and yet he only got an average score. Sure, it was better than usual, but it wasn’t good enough to get him into a decent school.

He complained to his friends, who were varying degrees of sympathetic to him, but it was Mitsuru who had the best advice for him. She told him that he was working hard for his future, but since he had no short term motivation, his drive wasn’t as strong as it could be. Junpei was shocked, not because Mitsuru had given him good advice, but because she had come up with just the thing to inspire him to do well on his July exams. Exams were less than two weeks away, and he was going to make every second count.

* * *

**07.08.10**

> Wanna go get dinner?

_ > sorry Chidorita _

_ > i have to study :( _

_ > i need to well on the upcoming exams _

Chidori sighed, caught between wanting to be proud of her boyfriend for dedicating himself to his studies and being frustrated at the lack of time they had spent together recently. At first, she wondered if him “studying” was just an excuse not to see her, but her insecurities were quelled by his constant texting and phone calls. It truly appeared that he was just suddenly interested in doing better in school. 

She wished that some of his newfound drive would rub off on her. Chidori had actually been doing her own equivalent of “studying,” which meant trying to teach herself the entire Japanese public school curriculum using Mitsuru’s old notes, when she had decided she needed a break. Though she had definitely made a lot of steps forward, she was still frustrated at how far she felt. She was nineteen and she had only just recently obtained an elementary school level education, and bitterness was slowly welling up within her.

_ Why couldn’t I have just had a normal life? I want to go to school and join clubs and get a real job, but it’s all so far out of reach. _

She had been in the middle of moping around when Mitsuru got home. She and Mitsuru had gotten a lot closer over the past few months as they had begun to get to know each other. They weren’t best friends or anything, but they were close enough that Mitsuru was instantly able to recognize Chidori’s irritation.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, except for the fact that I’m struggling to read something that was intended for middle schoolers and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to catch up with everything I missed. But other than that, I’m just fine, how are you?”

Mitsuru would have found that kind of sarcasm disrespectful from anyone else, but she knew, probably better than anyone besides Junpei, how hard Chidori was trying to be normal. Chidori believed that in order to be truly “normal,” she’d need to get a full education, a daunting task for someone who had never attended school before. She had offered several times now to help Chidori learn the material, but the girl waved her off every time by saying she didn’t want to burden her. Though Mitsuru protested, Chidori was stubborn and never changed her mind once it was made up. 

Suddenly, Mitsuru got a brilliant idea. She couldn’t help but smirk as she innocently responded, “I’m fine. How’s Junpei?”

“He’s busy studying for his exams,” Chidori responded, words laced with annoyance. 

“Why don’t you join him?” Mitsuru asked. Chidori started to reply when Mitsuru cut her off, “You could take turns helping each other. Or better yet, Junpei can teach you the concepts he’s reviewing.”

Chidori just looked confused, “Wouldn’t it be a waste of his time to have to explain things to me?”

“No. Actually, it will likely be very helpful to him. Teaching someone not only forces you to understand the topic enough to explain it to someone else, but it also helps you better remember the small details. Plus, even if the topics are a bit advanced for you, you’ll likely learn a lot too.”

“Mitsuru,” Chidori began, eyes shining reverently, “You are a genius! I’ll see you later!”

Mitsuru just laughed as Chidori haphazardly grabbed her bag and ran out of the apartment. 

* * *

Half an hour later, Chidori awkwardly opened the door to Junpei’s dorm building. She had only been there a few times, on the rare occasion when Junpei’s roommates were out and Mitsuru wasn’t, but it didn’t take her very long to find the door to Junpei’s room. It was only then that she realized she didn’t even text him to let him know she was coming. What if his roommates were there? What if she was being too clingy? Before she could fully psych herself out, she impulsively raised her fist and knocked on the door.

“Come in!” Junpei called.

Chidori quietly opened the door to see her boyfriend sitting on his dorm room floor which was covered in textbooks and notes. Looking around the rest of this room, she was relieved to see that his roommates were absent. Junpei was clearly deep in though, lightly tapping a pencil to his lips. He didn’t look up at her until she cleared her throat, which managed to break his concentration.

“Chidori? What are you doing here?”

“I’m here to help you study.”

Junpei tilted his head before asking, “How?”

Chidori explained Mitsuru’s idea to him and he quickly agreed to trying it. “My brain feels so stuffed. I’ll try anything at this point.”

The next several hours, Chidori listened as Junpei explained everything from English grammatical structure to basic calculus concepts. He was a little uncertain at first, obviously doubting his own teaching abilities, but he quickly got into it as Chidori listened and asked questions.

By the time Junpei’s roommates had returned, Junpei had covered all of the material from the past month of school. He was shocked at how much better he understood the material and the young couple made plans to meet up every evening to repeat the process until exams. Chidori readily agreed, excited to have the opportunity to further her own learning and spend time with her boyfriend at the same time.

* * *

**07.13.10**

It was the day before exams, and Junpei was beyond stressed. Though he and Chidori had spent the past few days rigorously studying, Junpei still felt unprepared. He hadn’t expressed this to Chidori, but, as always, she seemed to be able to read him easily.

The first thing Chidori did upon entering his dorm that day was place a large packet of paper on his desk. Before Junpei could even say anything, she fixed him with a stare and calmly stated, “I made a practice test for you based on Mitsuru’s old notes from her third year. It has a little bit of everything from all of your classes. You’ll sit at your desk and you’ll have a four hour time limit, just like you will tomorrow.”

Junpei was already blushing as she pulled him up from the floor, her gentle yet commanding voice making him go weak in the knees. Right as he sat down, she leaned down and whispered, “If you do well, I’ll give you a reward. Good luck.”

In an instant, she was sitting on Junpei’s bed like she had been the entire time, making Junpei question if he had heard her correctly. He didn’t know how she expected him to concentrate after saying  _ that _ , but it was definitely the motivation he needed to put his full effort into the test.

Chidori had divided the test into five sections, each with 30 multiple choice questions and 5 free response questions. Some of the questions were easy, clearly taken right from his notes, but others were incredibly difficult, making Junpei wonder if Mitsuru had helped her more than just sharing her notes.

When Chidori called time, Junpei had just finished checking over his answers. Chidori picked up his test with a smile, but was utterly emotionless for the next several minutes as she graded it. Eventually, she looked up at him, her face still giving nothing away about how she was feeling. He couldn’t take it anymore and blurted out, “How did I do?”

At that, Chidori’s blank expression cracked open to reveal a wide, giddy smile as she excitedly replied, “I am so proud of you! You are going to ace the exams this week.”

She ran over to him, wrapping him in a gentle hug. He reciprocated and let out a sigh of relief. 

He was about to ask about his reward, but she beat him to it, “We need to go over the ones you got wrong before I give you your reward.”

He let out a dramatic groan, more to make her laugh than out of any real annoyance. It didn’t take them very long since Junpei hadn’t missed very many. Before long, they had finished and Junpei felt more than ready for his exams, but more importantly, he was dying to know what his reward was. He felt like a kid on Christmas morning, but with the way Chidori was looking at him, he was pretty sure that her gift wouldn’t be child appropriate. 

Chidori lightly grabbed his hand and she maneuvered them so that they were both laying on his bed. She kissed him passionately, biting and nipping at his bottom lip until he groaned. She soon moved downwards, kissing down his neck, leaving lovebites he’d have to cover up the next day in order to avoid being teased by his friends. Chidori soon tugged at the bottom of his shirt, asking a silent question which he answered by ripping his shirt off. The way Chidori stared at him, eyes wide and lips slightly parted, was electrifying. He had no idea what Chidori was planning, but he didn’t care. He just wanted more, anything Chidori would give him, everything she’d let him give in return. 

But, of course, that was the exact moment his roommates walked in the door. Despite it being exam week, they had been spending their time practicing volleyball instead of studying due to the high likelihood of them receiving an athletic scholarship. They typically didn’t return to the dorm until well into the night, so it never crossed Junpei’s mind that they might come home during one of the couple’s study sessions. And,  _ of course _ , they came home early the one day that he was shirtless while his girlfriend was straddling him.

Chidori instantly shot up with a yelp and quickly moved away from Junpei. Her face was bright red as she quickly gathered her things and ran out of the dorm, calling out, “I’ll text you later, Junpei!”

His roommates just stared at him, faces flickering between pity and amusement, until one of them finally smirked, “Hope we didn’t interrupt anything.”

Junpei threw a pillow at him.

* * *

**07.24.10**

The dreaded day had finally arrived: exam scores had been posted. Junpei was terrified of looking, terrified that he didn’t do as well as he could have. He was most of all worried about disappointing Chidori. Though they hadn’t physically seen each other since the day before exams, she had been texting him words of encouragement every day and calling him every night. She kept telling him that he did great, but Junpei wouldn’t believe it until he knew how he actually did.

He took a deep breath and looked at the posting, starting from the bottom and moving his way up. When he passed the halfway mark and still hadn’t seen his name, he let out a sigh of relief. When he got to the top 50, and his name was still nowhere to be found, he smiled, incredibly proud of himself. But, when he got to the top 20, and he  _ still _ hadn’t seen his name, he panicked. 

_ I must have just missed my name. I’m sure it’s lower down on the list, or maybe my name just got left off or something. There’s no way I made it in the top 20. It must be a mistake- _

Then, he finally saw his name.

  1. Iori Junpei



18. _ 18\.  _ **18.**

_ No way... _

He vaguely heard some of his friends and classmates congratulating him, but they sounded like they were underwater, their words barely meeting his ears. Junpei only came back to Earth when he felt a hand touch his shoulder. He turned to see who it was, only to be greeted with a gently smiling Mitsuru.

“Mitsuru-senpai? What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to see if you did well enough to earn your reward.”

“...And?”

“You far exceeded my expectations. Congratulations.”

Junpei talked for a few more minutes to his senpai, thanking her for her generous gift, before Mitsuru said that she had to leave.

“I have a business meeting and I won’t be home until quite late tonight. Have fun,” she said with a knowing glint in her eyes.

Before Junpei could stutter out a response, she was gone. Though he was a bit embarrassed, his excitement overwhelmed him and he quickly headed to tell Chidori the good news.

* * *

Chidori was pacing, anxiously waiting for Junpei to let her know how he did. She was worried, thinking that because Junpei hadn’t responded yet, he must not have done as well as he wanted. She was just about to call him when she heard a knock on her door. 

The second she opened the door for him, his lips were on hers. She made a noise of surprise before melting into his embrace and returning his kisses wholeheartedly. They eventually pulled back, gasping for breath, and Chidori teasingly said, “I’m guessing your scores were pretty good.”

“18.”

“What?”

“I got the 18th best score,” he rubbed his neck bashfully, “I’ve never been in the top 50 before, much less the top 20.”

Chidori gasped before breaking out into a brilliant smile. “I’m so proud of you! I told you you would do great. You worked so hard, and it paid off,” her smile turned more sultry as she continued, “I’m guessing you want your reward I had promised. You more than deserve it at this point.”

“I definitely do. But first, I need to ask you something.”

“What is it?”

He couldn’t help but laugh at the confused look on her face. He lovingly stroked her cheek, incredibly optimistic about the future.

“Wanna go to the beach?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to clarify, Mitsuru's incentive was inviting Junpei and Chidori to come to Yakushima with her and the rest of the gang. I kept it a secret until the end because I didn't want to spoil the next chapter.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you think about adding in a few sex scenes in future chapters, as well as your thoughts on this chapter in general. See you Sunday!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chidori stresses about her scar and the lovebirds hit the beach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG :((
> 
> My computer randomly gave out a few months ago and writing on my phone was horrific so I just decided to wait until I finally got my new laptop! I'm not going to go back to a set schedule because having one was really stressing me out. Ideally, I'd like to finish this fic in the next few weeks before I head off to college, but we'll see. Either way, I will finish this fic. This series is my baby and I have so many ideas for it. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter! It's a long one :))
> 
> EDIT- I changed the dates from July to August... whoops lol

**08.06.10** ****

Chidori stared at her reflection in the brightly lit changing room mirror and resisted the urge to scream. Out of all of the activities in the world, Mitsuru just _had_ to reward Junpei with an invitation to go to Yakushima with her while she was there for business. Though she was extremely proud of her boyfriend's exam scores and grateful to Mitsuru for setting this whole trip up, she had been dreading it ever since she found out about it. ****

Chidori couldn’t remember ever visiting the beach, and, amnesia aside, was pretty sure that this would be the first time she ever saw it in person. The idea of laying out in the sand, playing volleyball, and splashing in the waves, all with Junpei at her side, sounded amazing, but it seemed impossible due to one thing: Chidori’s scar. ****

Her body was scar free, a fact that she chose not to think about too deeply lest she lose her sanity, except for the large, y-shaped scar that covered her chest. It was an ugly monstrosity, as the thick, jagged line covered nearly the entire front of her body. It made her look like she was a zombie back from the dead, who had been hastily stitched back together, which, while true, was something she desperately tried to ignore. ****

Ever since she woke up after her “accident,” all she had wanted was to just be _normal_ , a task she had succeeded at in every front but her own body. Her bright crimson hair and piercing golden eyes made her look, and thus feel, inhuman. Junpei and her other friends reassured her that she was beautiful despite her abnormalities and that she should just ignore the strange looks she occasionally got from strangers, but none of them knew about her autopsy scar. Though Chidori knew that it was irrational, part of her worried that her scar would be the straw that broke the camel’s back when it came to her relationships; it’s one thing to know that someone came back from the dead, but it’s another thing to see it. ****

All of this led to Chidori standing petrified in a small changing room while Yukari waited outside for her. The archer had gone a bit crazy once she had heard that Chidori didn’t own a swimsuit and insisted that she buy one for her. The minute they had arrived at the mall, Yukari had bombarded Chidori with different swimsuits, mostly two pieces that would put her scar front and center. Chidori had thought that her saving grace would be a simple navy one piece that Yukari had added to her pile towards the end of her frenzy, but as she looked at herself in the mirror she realized how wrong she had been. The suit was snug against her body and the thin material revealed the outline of her scar in all its hideous glory. ****

“Chidori? You okay in there?” Yukari called out. ****

“Yes! Yes, uh, I’m fine. It’s just that... none of these are fitting correctly.” ****

“Really?” Yukari began, clearly surprised, “I’m usually pretty good at eyeballing measurements. Oh, well. I’ll go get you some more. Do you need a size up or a size down?” ****

“Size up.” ****

“Alright! Be right back!” Chidori let out a sigh when she heard Yukari walk away, relieved that the other girl believed her lie. ****

 _I need to get out of here. Maybe I could pretend to be sick? No, then Junpei would probably insist the trip be pushed back, or worse, cancelled, so he could take care of me. I can’t ruin this for him... I could say I got called into work randomly, but then Yukari would just want to go tomorrow. Shit... What am I going to do?_ ****

Chidori ran her fingers through her hair, desperately trying to think of the perfect excuse to leave, when her eyes fell to a white, lacy one piece. She picked up the swimsuit to inspect it closer. It was simple, composed of subtle floral lace, with more solid fabric covering the more intimate areas of her body. Chidori hated how instantly she fell in love with it, because she knew it was impossible for her to wear it due to its deep v-neck. It wouldn’t just show her scar; it would put her scar on display. ****

 _Still, there’s no harm in just trying it on, right?_ ****

She knew she had made the right decision the moment she put the suit on. It was comfortable, beautiful, and fit her perfectly. The suit's cinched waist gave her normally boyish body defined curves and the lace was revealing but not enough to make her feel uncomfortable. Wearing it even made Chidori hate her scar less. Yes, it was very much on display, but against the girly lace of the swimsuit, it looked almost badass instead of gross or zombie-ish. She felt like a character from a recent manga she had read: beautiful, dangerous, and mysterious. ****

It was at that moment that Yukari opened the dressing room door, “Chidori? You- woah...” ****

Yukari looked away instantly, but the damage had been down. The brief look of horrified shock on her face destroyed any confidence Chidori had just gained. Reaching up to cover her scar as best as she could with her hands, Chidori furiously turned to Yukari, “What are you doing in here?” ****

“I’m sorry, Chidori. I’ve been knocking on the door, but you didn’t answer. I noticed the door was unlocked and just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

Chidori blushed, not realizing how out of it she had been, “Oh, I see... Uh, I’m sorry you had to see-” ****

“Oh my god, you look really good in that swimsuit!” Yukari exclaimed. ****

“...What?” ****

“It fits you so well! Wow, white really is your color.” Yukari continued to shower Chidori with compliments, only stopping when Chidori interrupted her. ****

“Wait, don’t you think I should cover up my... uh, scar?” ****

Yukari tilted her head but quickly shrugged, “I mean, if you want to. I think it looks kinda cool. Wait...” Yukari trailed off and looked seriously into Chidori’s eyes. “Were you scared to show me your scar? Is that why you sent me to get more swimsuits for you?” ****

Chidori sighed, “...Yes. I’m sorry for lying to you, but no one knows about my scar, so I was worried how you would react.” ****

“Well, I’m sorry I made you feel that way. I know we don’t know each other that well, but we’re still friends. I’d never judge you for something like that,” Yukari gave her a gentle smile, which Chidori reciprocated after a few moments of hesitation. ****

“Thank you, Yukari. That really means a lot to me.” ****

“Of course, Chidori! But, one thing,” Yukari said, brows furrowed, “You said that no one knows about your scar. Does that include Junpei?” ****

Chidori bit her lip and nodded, “Yes. It’s irrational, I know, but I’m worried he won’t be attracted to me anymore if he finds out.” ****

Though the young couple had become more intimate within the past few months, Chidori had always stopped things before they got to the point where she would have to take her clothes off. Junpei often complained, not because he wanted to push her past her comfort zone, but because he felt like he didn’t get to pleasure her in the same way she did him. While she always just waived his concerns off, she could tell that it was genuinely starting to worry him, making her feel incredibly guilty. It had absolutely nothing to do with him, and all to do with her own baseless insecurities. ****

“Oh, Chidori,” Yukari gave her a sad smile. “Junpei loves you so much. He’d be heartbroken to know that you feel that way. Trust me, your scar is not going to turn him away from you.”

“Logically, I know that, but... His body is _perfect_ . He’s lean but strong, his abs are amazing, and I just wish that I could be as beautiful for him as he is for me.” ****

Yukari wrinkled her nose, “First of all, ew. I didn’t need or want to know that about Stupei. No offense.” ****

Despite everything, Chidori let out a small giggle, “None taken.” ****

“But, in all seriousness, Junpei thinks you are perfect, probably to a fault. Even when you just met, Junpei was obsessed with you and that definitely has not changed since you got together. He always gushes about how your eyes glint in the sunlight, how soft your hair is, et cetera” Yukari rolled her eyes before continuing. ****

“If I know anything about Junpei, and trust me, at this point I probably know too much, he will not mind that you have a scar. In fact,” Yukari smirked mischievously, “I’d bet 1000 yen that it’ll turn him on.” ****

Chidori blushed furiously, “Yukari!” ****

Yukari just laughed, “I’m kidding! Well, I’m not, but you know what I mean.” ****

Chidori groaned but there was no real annoyance behind it, “You’re the worst.” ****

“Is that anyway to speak to the girl about to buy you the swimsuit of your dreams?” ****

Chidori began to furiously protest, but she could tell by the look in Yukari’s eyes that she wasn’t going to change the other girl’s mind. As Yukari turned to leave the dressing room, Chidori gently said, “Thank you, Yukari. For everything.” ****

“Of course,” Yukari exclaimed, a radiant smile on her face, “What are friends for? Now, hurry up and change! We have a few more shops to hit.” ****

* * *

 **08.08.10** ****

Junpei figured that nothing could mess up a luxurious, all expenses paid, beach trip with his girlfriend, but, of course, the universe had to prove him wrong. ****

Before boarding the transport ship, Mitsuru not-so-subtly informed him that Chidori and he would be in separate rooms on separate floors. She said that it was because they had plenty of extra rooms but, by the way she was looking at him, he figured there was more to it than that. Junpei was disappointed, though not too surprised, but figured that the time the couple would spend on the beach would more than make up for it. ****

Things were good for a while after that. The sky was cloudy but Chidori was bright enough all on her own. Junpei loved watching her on a normal day, but seeing her discover the vast ocean for the first time was truly beautiful. ****

Everything was perfect, until he felt the raindrops. ****

Within minutes, a full blown storm was upon them. The couple managed to head below deck before getting completely drenched, but based on the crashing thunder, this was not going to just blow over. ****

He sighed, “Damn, we may not be able to actually go to the beach today.” ****

Instead of being upset like he expected, Chidori seemed to perk up, “Really?” ****

“Yeah, especially if it keeps thundering. Hopefully it will stop before we get there.” ****

Chidori nodded absently before abruptly changing the topic. He knew that she was acting kinda weird, but Junpei didn’t think much of it and soon they were back to their normal banter. ****

When they finally arrived at Yakushima, the storm had only worsened and they were quickly told by the staff that the beach would be closed for the rest of the day due to safety concerns. He was deeply disappointed and began to apologize to Chidori before seeing the look of sheer relief on her face. Before he could question her, Chidori flashed him a smile and ran off to unpack. ****

The rest of the day passed peacefully as the couple played cards, watched movies, and simply enjoyed each other’s company. Though Junpei still wished they could have actually gone to the beach, they still had tomorrow, and in the grand scheme of things, today had been pretty damn great. ****

After a delicious seafood dinner where they were joined by an uncharacteristically joyful Mitsuru, the couple separated for the night. Junpei rested in his room for a while, and pretty soon after decided to head to bed. That is, until his phone started to ring. He pulled out his phone only to be surprised when he saw who was calling. ****

“Chidori? Are you okay? What’s wrong?” ****

“I’m fine,” she choked out, obviously not fine. ****

“Why did you call me? Did something happen? Do you-” ****

“I’m hiding something from you,” she blurted out. “I’ve been lying this whole time. I-I...” ****

Chidori’s sobs echoed from his phone. Hearing her sound so broken hurt him almost as much as the idea that she had deceived him. He knew she wouldn’t do anything to purposefully hurt him or betray his trust, but what if that meant... Junpei immediately began to panic and wonder if his worst fear was true. ****

“Do you... Do you really love me?” ****

“What?! Junpei, _of course_ I love you. You’re everything to me.” ****

Junpei let out a sigh of relief, and with it, all of his worries dissipated. “Well, then whatever it is, I promise you that we can work through it.” ****

Chidori was quiet for a few moments before she let out a humorless laugh, “You’re way too good for me.” ****

“I think that about you everyday. Now, c’mon. What’s up?” ****

“...Can I come to your room?” ****

Usually the idea of his girlfriend sneaking out to come to his room at night would sound amazing, but the idea of her trying to stumble down to his room in her distressed state made him sick. ****

“Why don’t I come to you?” ****

"...Okay.” ****

Within five minutes of hanging up, Junpei was outside of Chidori’s room, knocking on her door. When she didn’t answer, he knocked again. It was only as he was knocking for the third time that a vivid image of Chidori’s arm covered in blood and self-inflicted wounds flooded his memories. ****

 _No... She’s not like_ that _anymore. She’s fine. She’s fine. She has to be fine._ ****

Before he could completely spiral, Chidori opened the door. Her eyes were red and her face was void of all of her usual makeup, but somehow she still looked beautiful in Junpei’s old t-shirt and some ratty sweatpants. ****

“Sorry... Uh, come in.” ****

Junpei had assumed that he and Chidori would have very similar, if not the exact same, rooms, but he was definitely mistaken. Chidori’s room was larger than his and she had a plush western bed that was absolutely luxurious looking, especially compared to his basic futon. In a different situation he’d crack a joke about Mitsuru playing favorites, but he knew now was not the time. ****

Chidori shut the door and turned to face him. She couldn't quite look him in the eyes and Junpei wanted to do nothing more than wrap her in a hug, but he knew that’s not what she wanted or needed right now.

“Junpei... I have- My body is, uh....” Chidori shook her head as if to scold herself for stuttering. Suddenly, she met Junpei’s eyes with a frantic determination and blurted out, “I’m a zombie.” ****

“...What?” ****

“I died, then got stitched back together and now I’m alive again. Doesn’t that make me a zombie!? Either way, I’m a disgusting freak!” ****

“Chidori, what are you talking about?” ****

She stared at him for a long moment, her agitation rapidly dissolving into something that looked worryingly like fear. Eventually, she grabbed the bottom of her shirt, and before Junpei could react, she had already pulled it over her head and thrown it onto the floor. ****

Junpei’s mouth went dry. Chidori was stunning, thin and petite with smooth, pale skin that Junpei wanted to run his hands over. Her breasts were small but perfect, and though he could look at them all day, they weren’t the most captivating thing on Chidori’s body. No, that award definitely went to her scar. ****

Starting from the tops of her breasts and continuing until her belly button, her scar made her look tall and lean. It’s light pink color made it stand out against her skin in a far too enticing manner. Junpei couldn’t look away. ****

Chidori, however, greatly misinterpreted his staring. ****

“Do you understand now?” she asked him sadly. “I’m... a monster. I shouldn’t be alive right now and this scar is proof of that. You deserve better than me. I’m not- hm?!” ****

Junpei interrupted her with a searing kiss, trying to convey everything he was thinking with his lips. Chidori responded tentatively at first, but soon enthusiastically reciprocated, weaving her fingers through his hair. ****

When they pulled apart, Junpei couldn’t help but ask, “Can I touch it?” ****

Chidori’s eyes widened, “You... You actually _want_ to?” ****

He nodded seriously, causing her to blush bright red. She grabbed his hand and led him to her bed before laying on her back. Chidori still looked terrified, like she thought Junpei would leave her at any moment. He decided to do everything in his power to convince her that he was here for the long haul. ****

He bent down to kiss her lips again and whispered, “You’re beautiful, Chidori.” ****

She started to say something, but her protests were cut off when he began gently tracing her scar. He started slow at first, one finger tracing up and down the edges of her scar, but Chidori’s light gasps were more than ample encouragement to do more. One finger turned into two, and soon Junpei’s lips replaced his fingers as he relished the noises she made as he kissed the outline of her scar. ****

The young couple explored each other’s bodies for hours, enjoying the endlessly electric sense of connection that came with the brushing of finger tips and soft, gentle kisses. Neither one would remember falling asleep that night, but they’d never forget laying there together, wrapped in soft moonlight, and feeling completely at peace.

* * *

 **08.09.10** ****

Chidori woke up and her whole body was on fire, not from illness or arousal, but from her lanky boyfriend's body plastered on top of her. She groaned and tried to gently push him off of her, but when she was unsuccessful, she had to move to Plan B. ****

Chidori poked him on the side, just enough to give him a second of warning, before she began to tickle him mercilessly. He awoke with a yelp and instantly moved over to give her more room before giving her a glare, “What the hell was that for?”

She shrugged and gave him a look of mock innocence, “Desperate times call for desperate measures.” ****

“You’re the worst.” ****

“I know,” she replied cheerfully. They stared at each other for a few seconds before bursting into giggles, both equally relieved that nothing was awkward between them after last night. ****

The sun was just starting its ascent into the sky and though Chidori figured she should probably be tired after staying up so late, she only felt excitement. Junpei knew about her scar, he still loved her, and they were going to have a great rest of their vacation. They cuddled for a few more minutes as they continued to lazily wake up, until Junpei shot out of bed like a rocket and yelled, “Shit!” ****

Chidori sat up in an instant, “What’s wrong, Junpei?” ****

“I didn’t mean to stay over last night! Mitsuru is going to be pissed.” ****

At this, Chidori relaxed, “Junpei, don’t be silly. Mitsuru has better things to worry about than how we choose to spend our vacation.” ****

Junpei stared at her like a kicked puppy, “You know that’s not true! She’s gotten so protective over you and doesn’t want me... I don’t know, corrupting your innocence or something!” ****

“You and I both know that I am far from innocent,” Chidori smirked. “I doubt she’ll know you were over here and if she, for some weird reason, does, just tell her I had a nightmare and you came to comfort me. It’s close enough to the truth.” ****

This finally got Junpei to stop freaking out and rejoin her in bed. He lightly stroked her cheek and gave her a kiss on her forehead. She melted into his touch, but he quickly pulled away from her to give her the most serious look she could remember seeing on his face.

“We need to talk about last night, Chidori.” ****

Chidori tilted her head, “What do you mean? I’m fine now.” Junpei gave her a pointed look and she sighed, “Okay, I’m no longer worried about my scar like I have been.” ****

“Why were you worried about how I would react? Have... Have I done anything to make you think that I would feel differently about you if you didn’t look a certain way?” ****

“No! Nothing like that, I promise. I was just being... insecure.” ****

"And your scar was the only thing bothering you? There was nothing else, right?"

"...No, nothing else is bothering me."

Junpei didn’t look like he completely believed her, but, thankfully, he didn’t push any farther. “Okay, good. You know that you can always talk to me about anything, right? Your worries, your past, anything.” ****

Chidori smiled, and to anyone else it would have looked genuine, but Junpei could tell that it didn’t quite reach her eyes. Before he could say anything though, Chidori was kissing him. It didn’t take long for them for them to stop, both pulling away from each other complaining about morning breath, but it was enough for Junpei’s worries to subside, especially when Chidori started playfully rushing him out of her room and told him she had to get ready for the beach. ****

Only much later did Junpei realize that Chidori had never responded to his question.

* * *

It didn’t take Chidori very long to get ready, but she purposefully waited a good while to start heading down to the beach. Call her a sadist, but she wanted Junpei squirm in anticipation in seeing her in a bathing suit. To some, it may seem like a downgrade considering he literally saw her topless just hours before, but Chidori knew that Junpei would appreciate her outfit nonetheless. ****

And, she was very correct. His jaw literally dropped when she came into his field of vision. Chidori gave him a mischievous smile and confidently walked over to him, scar prominently on display, “Like what you see?”

“Very much so,” he whispered. “You look... amazing.” ****

“Thanks, babe. You look pretty damn good yourself,” Chidori replied, taking a second to appreciate Junpei’s beautifully sculpted body. ****

He blushed and rubbed his neck at her bold complement, “Thank you... So, what do you want to do first?” ****

“Hmmmm...” Chidori pretended to think very deeply before a shit-eating grin slowly spread across her face. “Why don’t we start with Operation Babe Hunt #2? This is where the first one took place, right?” ****

Chidori was expecting Junpei to groan at her teasing, but was instead floored when he replied, “No need. I’m already with the most beautiful girl on the beach.” ****

Now it was Chidori’s turn to blush but she quickly recovered, “When did you get so smooth?” ****

“I have my moments," he said with a grin. "Now, c’mon! Let’s go swimming!”

* * *

After several hours of swimming and volleyball, the couple decided to take a break and relax on some towels under a nearby umbrella. They laid together, content to simply listen to the waves crash onto the shore, until Junpei broke the silence by asking, “Did you not want to come to the beach because of your scar?” ****

“Yes,” Chidori replied, seemingly embarrassed. “I know it's silly. Deep down, I knew that you’d be okay with it, but I was still terrified. I didn’t want to lose you.” ****

“You’ll never lose me, Chidori. You’re going to be stuck with me for a long while,” Junpei kissed her temple, then mumbled something that Chidori didn’t hear. ****

“Wait, what was that last thing?” ****

Junpei groaned and buried his face in Chidori’s neck, and quietly muttered, “I’m not just _okay_ with your scar. To be honest, I think it’s really hot.”

“You are ridiculous,” Chidori blushed with a fond smile on her face. ****

“I know," Junpei stood and brushed the sand off of him. "Are you ready to go back out?”

“Yeah, just give me a second,” Chidori grabbed her phone and sent a two text messages to Yukari: ****

> Thanks for your advice. I really appreciate you being there for me <3

> P.S. I owe you 1000 yen ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think! Any feedback is appreciated!! See y'all soon!!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chidori finds something she was never meant to, and her whole world falls apart at the seams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I have some explaining to do. 
> 
> Originally, this fic was going to be 13 chapters, each centered around a different month in the first year of Junpei and Chidori's relationship, but I ended up deciding that the beach trip was a good end to the arc. I didn't feel like the other chapters would add anything necessary (and I'm really itching to start the P4 part of the this fic lol). So, this is the last chapter of It Was Always You.
> 
> Warning: This chapter is a lot darker than all of the other chapters. It's not enough to warrent a rating change, but it is a taste of what the tone will be like in the next and last part of the P3 part of this series, which will be coming out soon. More details about that in the end note.
> 
> Okay, rant over. I hope you enjoy the chapter!!

**03.11.11**

After that fateful beach trip, the rest of the year seemed to go by in a blur. Fall was incredibly busy for the young couple, as Chidori received a promotion at her job at the local flower shop and Junpei continued to devote much of his time to his studies, but they spent every free moment together. Winter was a time for firsts; not only did they get to experience Christmas and New Years for the first time together, they also got to celebrate each other’s birthdays. And now that it was spring, it was time for their most exciting first yet: moving in together.

All of Junpei’s studying paid off when he was admitted to his first choice school, Yokohama City University. It was less than an hour away from Iwatodai, so they could easily travel back to visit their friends, and it was the perfect fit for Junpei academically. Chidori couldn’t be prouder of her boyfriend and was excited to live somewhere other than Iwatodai for the first time in her new life.

Her old life was still almost entirely forgotten. Chidori had accepted that she likely would never know too much about what happened before her accident, as Junpei would always change the subject when she asked about it. Most of the time, this didn’t bother her. Ever since she had awoken in her hospital bed a year ago, she had just wanted to be normal. After their beach trip, Chidori had started to feel like that goal was accomplished. Ignoring that she had ever had a life before her accident made being normal much easier.

However, when Chidori watched Junpei and her other friends agonize over college applications, celebrate at graduation, and talk about their plans for the future, an irrational surge of jealousy would flood through her. Missing out on these basic life experiences made her realize how the average life she had tried so damn hard to build was all a mirage.

Though she’d never admit it, Chidori had begun to resent the freedom her friends had. They could do whatever they wanted, be whoever they wanted, while she felt forced to remain stagnant. Junpei and her friends always reassured them that they liked her the way that she was and that she wasn’t a burden, but she often thought about how much better her life would be if she had had a normal childhood.

_If I didn’t become an orphan at age 6. If I wasn’t kidnapped and experimented on. If I hadn’t lost Shoji. If I hadn’t forgotten the majority of my life. If-_

“Chidori? Are you okay?” Junpei’s concerned voice brought her back to reality. They had spent the better part of the day moving into their new apartment. It was small and a bit rough around the edges, but neither of them minded; it was _theirs._

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just lost in thought,” Chidori gave him a quick peck on the cheek to reassure him.

“Are you still lost? You know I’m always happy to come find you.”

Chidori groaned, “You are the worst.”

“Yeah, but you love me,” Junpei teased, eyebrows waggling.

“I do,” Chidori smiled wide at the blush that spread over her boyfriend’s cheeks. Even after all of these months, he was so easy to fluster. “Now, go take a shower, you dork. I’ll finish unpacking the last few boxes.”

Junpei perked up at that, “Really?! That’d be great!” His smile turned more seductive as he added, “Unless you want to join me?”

“Maybe later,” she shot back with a wink. Junpei stuck his tongue out at her before entering their (oh my god, _their!!_ ) bathroom. 

Chidori quickly made her way over to the small stack of boxes that still needed to be put away with a smirk on her face. Though she had genuinely wanted to be nice to Junpei, she had an ulterior motivation; a shower would be plenty of time to find something in one of these boxes that would embarrass the hell out of her boyfriend.

The first two boxes were utterly boring, just some extra clothes and shoes. She had been hoping for an old childhood photo or maybe a stuffed animal or two, but it seemed that her boyfriend had either hidden those from her or, due to his difficult childhood, maybe didn’t have anything like that to begin with.

It didn’t take long for her to give up on her prank idea, especially after she opened the final box to find it filled with insanely large and ridiculously heavy textbooks. Chidori let out a groan. She had been unpacking all day, and the idea of lifting a dozen or more books into the bookshelf made her want to cry. 

Chidori was just about to close the box up and leave it for Junpei to deal with later, when something in the box caught her eye. At the bottom of all the textbooks, she could see the corner of a spiral notebook. Something deep inside of her compelled her to pull the book out and when she realized what she was holding, she smiled.

_A sketchbook, huh? I wonder why he has it. Was he planning on giving it to me? Or is it his?_

She opened the first page of the notebook to find a large portrait of her boyfriend. The depiction was pretty accurate, and it was clear that the artist had spent time capturing all of the small details on Junpei’s face, from the crinkles around his eyes to the small gathering of moles on his cheek. 

An odd chill ran down her spine. Something in her gut told her that she had seen the picture before, and it wasn’t just because Junpei was the subject of the piece. Chidori felt like she would have been able to recognize the lines on the page even if they were in the shape of a complete stranger's face.

Instantly it hit her; she had drawn this.

The sketchbook fell out of her hand like it was on fire. Chidori’s mind felt jumbled, like someone had taken all of her emotions and thrown them in a blender. Should she be excited to find a piece of her past? Should she be mad at Junpei for hiding this from her for over a year? Should she feel anything at all?

She didn’t know the answer to any of those questions, but she did know one thing; if she didn’t look through her old sketchbook, she’d regret it the rest of her life.

The first few pages were filled only with drawings of Junpei. Junpei laughing, Junpei crying, Junpei with love in his eyes... The amount of times she had drawn him was a bit ridiculous, maybe even bordering on creepy.

_I guess this explains why I’ve always been able to draw him from muscle memory._

The next set of pages were also fairly innocent: doodles of flowers, a few lolita inspired dress designs, and a portrait of two men. She studied the men in the drawing for several moments. Though she had no idea who they were, she distinctly recognized the taller man’s pointed eyes and the other man’s smirk.

However, the book’s drawings slowly became more and more disturbing. There were a few drawings of a grotesque tower that seemed to have several different conflicting layers spilling out of it. One page depicted a young child with severed legs, his face contorted in pain. Another showed a young girl with blank eyes, her naked body covered in dozens of cuts and burns.

But by far, the worst were the pictures of corpses.

Some were decapitated, their heads placed neatly on poles, their bodies nowhere to be seen. Others were clearly burned alive, their charred faces permanently screaming. One looked so peaceful that Chidori had thought that the woman in the picture had just been sleeping, until she saw the long dried tear tracks running down the page.

Chidori flipped through every page of the sketchbook and absorbed it all: the good, the bad, and the truly ugly. She knew that she should feel shock or disgust that she had been capable of drawing these horrible images, but instead she simply felt numb. None of the images in the sketchbook had surprised her, much less disturbed her, in the slightest. Why wasn’t she reacting to this like a normal person?

 _These drawings feel so familiar, almost like déjà vu.... Could it be? Did I really live through_ this?

“Chidori, are you- Wait, what the hell?!” Junpei roughly grabbed the sketchbook out of her hands. “Where did you get this?”

“It was in the box with your textbooks,” she muttered. 

Junpei was silent for a long moment, shaking with something between rage and sorrow. With his fists clenched and his head hung low, he whispered, “I never wanted you to see that.”

Chidori’s blood boiled. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “Why the hell did you hide this from me?”

“Chidori, I know you,” Junpei sighed. “I know how much you want to live a normal life and I thought... No, I _knew_ that showing you this would just make everything worse.”

“It’s not your job to protect me from my past,” Chidori snapped, grabbing the book back. “Just because I wish that my life was normal does not mean that I need to be protected from the truth. Sure the drawings are disturbing, but I’ve seen much worse. I’m not a child, Junpei.”

“I know... I’m sorry, Chidori. It wasn’t right of me to hide this from you. It’s just...” He trailed off, a pained expression crossing over his face.

“What is it?” Despite everything, Chidori couldn’t help but be concerned.

“Before your accident, you never showed me your art. You always used to say that no one would understand it. I always thought that you were too embarrassed to show me or just wanted to keep it private, but now, looking back on it, I think you were trying to protect me. I was given that book a few days after your accident. It was all I had left of you and I treasured it greatly. But... Every time I looked at it, I would have terrible nightmares. And not just random bad dreams: I dreamed about the pictures that you had drawn.”

“Are you saying that my drawings... influenced your dreams?”

Junpei nodded solemnly, causing Chidori to scoff.

“Listen, I can get behind the idea of Personas and Shadows, because at this point there is just too much evidence to deny their existence, but... Drawings that can control dreams? That just sounds outlandish. How would that even work?”

“I-I don’t know, okay?! I promise I’m telling the truth.”

Chidori laughed, dark and hollow, “You really expect me to believe you after you deceived me for over a year? How can I be sure you’re not just making excuses? What else haven’t you been honest with me about?”

The couple were silent for a long time after that. Chidori mirthlessly realized that they could tick another first off of the list: their first fight.

A wave of exhaustion fell over her and she sat down on the bed. Junpei kept standing awkwardly, as if he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do. Eventually, he settled on whispering, “I’m sorry, Chidori.”

“I know.”

“Are we okay?”

“...Let’s talk about this in the morning.”

Junpei looked like he wanted to protest but eventually nodded. The couple climbed into bed, and, despite the lingering tension, Chidori was content. She and Junpei would work things out in the morning, she’d get him to talk about what he knows about her past, and everything would end up fine. She drifted off to sleep with that thought in her head and a smile on her face.

* * *

_painblooddeathwhiteredgreygreenblackgoldhelpnowayoutpleasestopwhyareyoudoingthistoustakayajinshiongungrenadeshatchetdontleavemeredblooddripdropgoneagainachancetoescapechidoriwehavetogonowstopcryingwashthebloodoffofyourhandsbequietdontmovenopleasedontjusticemustbeservedoursflamesaretheirkarmayoumustdowhatisayitisyourdutynostopiwontdothisanymorenopleasemedealetmebreathepleaseilldoitnoipromiseiwontstopimsorryibetrayedyoumedeaneveragainmedeaillneverleaveyoursidechildfireandbloodaremyfavoritethingsmyfriendshavenofoodmaybeweshouldjuststarvewasteofspaceandpotentialheyprettygirlnopleasestophahahahaicantsaveyoufailureyoudeservetodieineedtotakeashowerandwashmyhandsandshowerandwashmyhandsineedtoearnmykeepheyhunhowmuchonlytenthousandyenwhatadealopenupgoodwhoreineedashowerandtodiedrawwithinkdrawwithbloodimisstheolddayswhenwewereafamilybutnowwearetotalstrangersthechemistgotmeagainandagainandagainthankyouyousavedmewhatsyournameilltakecareofyoumedeapleaseendthiswhydoeseveryonealwaysleavepleasestaydontgobangbangbangineedashoweryourinmywaysoannoyingishereallyoneofthemnowaybutjustincaseshitmedeawhereareyoumedeadontleavemealonestayquietamistakemeanstheendofthemissionwarmthitssowarmandbrightandbluegreybeautifulnoicantloveisweakgoawaygoawaygoawayleavemealoneyoucamebackformeididntthinkideverseeyouagainmeneitherilltakeyoudownyoumeannothingtomeshitwhyamisoweakgoawaynostayforevericantlivewithoutyouiwontlivewithoutyouillalwaysbewithyoujunpeiiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouwhitelightsstaticicanfinallysleepwaitnowhyarethereflowers-_

* * *

Chidori awoke with a scream. She couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t think, she couldn’t see anything but the blood on her hands. She jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom and tried to rinse it off, but it was still there, still wet, still rose red. Chidori scrubbed her raw hands with scalding water that she barely felt until a gentle voice startled her out of her stupor, “Chidori, what’s wrong? Are you okay?”

Chidori knew that she should laugh, that she _would_ laugh if she were her old self (her new self?), but instead all she could do was stare at him blankly. He took a cautious step towards her and she flinched, causing Junpei to look horrified.

_You did this to him. You don’t deserve him. You’re a monster, a whore, a murderer, a-_

“STOP IT!” Chidori yelled, desperately clutching her head. She hadn’t heard that voice since her accident- her _death_ \- and the sound of it made her blood run cold. “No. No. No, it can’t be her, Medea’s gone. She’s not here, I’m free, I’m-”

“You remember Medea?” Junpei asked quietly, eyes wide.

His innocent question grounded her enough to stare at him blankly before coldly replying, “I remember everything, Junpei.”

His draw dropped. The fake her (the real her?) would have found it funny but she was a bit preoccupied with trying to focus on not having a complete mental breakdown, so she ignored him. She could see his lips moving and knew he was saying something, but she couldn’t understand a word or even hear a sound he was making. 

_It’s better this way. You’re not good enough for him. You deserve to be alone._

Medea’s voice overwhelmed her and before she knew it, she was walking past Junpei and opening their bedroom window.

“Chidori! What are you doing?!”

She glanced out and peered over the cityscape. It was still dark out and the twinkling lights in the distance were beautiful. She wanted to stretch her arms out and touch them. But, like all bright things in her life, they were just out of reach. “I need to be alone for a little while,” she said quietly, her back still turned to Junpei.

“Chidori,” Junpei sounded like he was crying, but Chidori refused to look back at him.

“I have to go.”

“No, you don’t! Whatever you saw, we can talk about this! I promise, I’m here for you. I just want to help-”

“You were right.”

“...What do you mean?”

Chidori ignored him and sat on the windowsill, legs dangling off of the edge.

“Chidori, _please,_ I can’t lose you again, _”_ Junpei cried. If there was anything still human in her, she would have turned around and immediately started to comfort him, but she remained still. Without another word, she jumped out of the window and quickly maneuvered herself down the side of the building. The second her bare feet touched the cold concrete, a wave of nostalgia washed over her. The streets had always been her home.

She started running. She had no idea where she was going, but it didn’t matter. She’d find what she was looking for soon enough. 

Chidori could hear Junpei yelling at her to come back. But it was too late.

She was already gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...Sorry? I’m really not though haha. I’ve seen a lot of fics where Chidori regains her memories and is just kinda.... cool with it?? Which is totally fine, of course, but I’ve always imagined something more like this. Chidori is caught between her past and present and ultimately runs away from Junpei and the rest of her attachments. Don’t worry, though! She just needs some time to think things over and be by herself. She and Junpei won’t be separated for long!
> 
> No really! Not long at all! I will be releasing the third part of The Tertiary Timeline in the next week. I was going to post it alongside this last chapter but.... I kinda want y’all to suffer for a bit ;)) Anyways, its a long oneshot of Chidori being forced to confront her past and starting to figure out how to move on to the future. I’m really excited to share it with yall so get pumped!!
> 
> Comments are greatly appreciated, as always!
> 
> P.S. I’m going to separate the long italicized chain of text so that you can read it. It’s totally optional because its super vague and all important points will be touched on in the next part of the series, but if you’re anything like me, you sat there for a few minutes trying to decipher it lol
> 
> Pain, blood, death, white, red, grey, green, black, gold. Help! No way out. Please stop! Why are you doing this? Takaya, Jin, Shion. Gun, grenades, hatchet. Don’t leave me! Red, blood, drip, drop, gone, again. A chance to escape. Chidori, we have to go now! Stop crying. Wash the blood off of your hands. Be quiet. Don’t move. No, please don’t! Justice must be served. Our flames are their karma. You must do what I say, it is your duty. No, stop! I won’t do this anymore! No, please! Medea, let me breathe! Please, I’ll do it. No, I promise I won’t stop. I’m sorry I betrayed you, Medea. Never again, Medea. I’ll never leave your side, child. Fire and blood are my favorite things. My friends have no food. Maybe we should starve. Waste of space and potential. Hey, pretty girl. No, please stop! Hahahaha! I can’t save you. Failure. You deserve to die. I need to take a shower and wash my hands and shower and wash my hands. I need to earn my keep. Hey, hun. How much? Only ten thousand yen? What a deal. Open up. Good whore. I need a shower and to die. Draw with ink, draw with blood. I miss the old days when we were a family, but now we are total strangers. The Chemist got me again and again and again. Thank you. You saved me. What’s your name? I’ll take care of you. Medea, please end this. Why does everyone always leave? Please stay! Don’t go! Bang! Bang! Bang! I need a shower. You’re in my way. So annoying. Is he really one of them? No way, but just in case. Shit! Medea, where are you? Don’t leave me alone! Stay quiet. A mistake means the end of the mission. Warm. So warm and bright and blue-grey beautiful. No, I can’t. Love is weak. Go away. Go away, Go away. Leave me alone. You came back for me. I didn’t think I’d ever see you again. Me neither. I’ll take you down. You mean nothing to me. Shit! Why am I so weak? Go away. No! Stay forever. I can’t live without you. I won’t live without you. I’ll always be with you, Junpei. I love you. I love you. I love you. White light. Static. I can finally sleep. Wait... No! Why are there flowers?

**Author's Note:**

> I know Chidori might seem too cheerful and ooc, but I believe that she would be the kind of person to tease Junpei relentlessly, especially right now when she's not being held captive by her traumatic memories. Anyways, I am still getting used writing both of these characters, so any feedback is greatly appreciated :)) See you on Wednesday!!


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